This time last year I was getting ready for my 'gap year'; packing my bag full of camping gear and plans to visit as many countries as possible. I go to a different country every month; all planned out and money saved. Something else happened though. I fell in love with my ordinary life at L'Arche, which is everything but ordinary, it's quite extraordinary. I thought that traveling all of Europe would be my grand adventure and that it would make me over the moon happy. Instead I found my happiness in the small, often overlooked, dailiness of my life in community. I began to see myself loving the little things in life and looking forward to them all the time.
Friday night dancing, long walks on Sunday, and a welcome home like none other. Coming home from a week long trip in Crete, I walked down the stairs and into the kitchen where I was greeted happily by everyone I live with, sitting around the table eating breakfast. Thursday nights became my favorite evening, spent playing board games and card games at the local pub or telling stories (with the help of wine) of our lives while in the glow of the fire place. It all became so lovely. These are the moments I love and cherish and miss a great deal.
Friday night dancing, long walks on Sunday, and a welcome home like none other. Coming home from a week long trip in Crete, I walked down the stairs and into the kitchen where I was greeted happily by everyone I live with, sitting around the table eating breakfast. Thursday nights became my favorite evening, spent playing board games and card games at the local pub or telling stories (with the help of wine) of our lives while in the glow of the fire place. It all became so lovely. These are the moments I love and cherish and miss a great deal.
I lived with four people that have disabilities and eight people without disabilities. My first friend in England was a woman with a disability. Everyday she would welcome me with a high pitch laugh/scream and a giant bear hug. The moment was always fleeting as she would then push me away. Nonetheless, it was beautiful and made me feel special. She was passionate about music, food and people. We shared the same love for those things, which is probably why we get along so well :) I was lucky enough to be one of those people that she loved. She's nonverbal and restricted to a wheelchair, but that doesn't stop her from communicating what she wants. In my last few days at L'Arche she held me and helped make me feel whole and okay.
I wanted to tell her my story, that I needed to move on, and wanted her to understand that I wasn't going to be there anymore. I wanted her to know that I loved her deeply, and that I was going to miss her. I wanted her to know that she was my friend and that wasn't going to change despite the distance. Our final time together I was sitting next to her sobbing quietly. She reached out and held my hand and did her dirty laugh and then sighed. She didn't need to speak to understand love. And while she didn't understand that I was leaving it was okay because in that moment she was just content holding my hand and laughing. And this is only the start of what I've learned this year.
My travels:
Over American Thanksgiving I was invited to travel to the Netherlands with a friend who was studying in London and her friends came over for a visit. Amsterdam was beautiful. Full of canals and bikers, delicious cheese and pasteries and it's fair share of cafes. My wallet had been stolen which put a damper on the holiday but I really enjoyed the trip! Between the Van Gogh and Anne Frank museums and endless cups of hot cocoa it seemed like it went by in a blur. On my return trip my plane was delayed a few hours which caused me to miss my train from London to Manchester and cost me £70. So there I was at the train station at midnight, with this poor man behind the counter, and me begging him to let me on the next train. Exhausted, hungry and craving to be in the arms of my community I started weeping. Luckily he took pitty on this American girl andt hree hours later I was back in Manchester. The experience scared me from traveling out of the country till March.
I wanted to tell her my story, that I needed to move on, and wanted her to understand that I wasn't going to be there anymore. I wanted her to know that I loved her deeply, and that I was going to miss her. I wanted her to know that she was my friend and that wasn't going to change despite the distance. Our final time together I was sitting next to her sobbing quietly. She reached out and held my hand and did her dirty laugh and then sighed. She didn't need to speak to understand love. And while she didn't understand that I was leaving it was okay because in that moment she was just content holding my hand and laughing. And this is only the start of what I've learned this year.
My travels:
Over American Thanksgiving I was invited to travel to the Netherlands with a friend who was studying in London and her friends came over for a visit. Amsterdam was beautiful. Full of canals and bikers, delicious cheese and pasteries and it's fair share of cafes. My wallet had been stolen which put a damper on the holiday but I really enjoyed the trip! Between the Van Gogh and Anne Frank museums and endless cups of hot cocoa it seemed like it went by in a blur. On my return trip my plane was delayed a few hours which caused me to miss my train from London to Manchester and cost me £70. So there I was at the train station at midnight, with this poor man behind the counter, and me begging him to let me on the next train. Exhausted, hungry and craving to be in the arms of my community I started weeping. Luckily he took pitty on this American girl andt hree hours later I was back in Manchester. The experience scared me from traveling out of the country till March.
I got brave again in March! I spontaneous booked a flight to Spain and took my first solo holiday to another country. Travelling alone to a country where no one speaks English brough on my first panic attack in the Madrid airport bathroom. I followed this with a terrifying hour long taxi to the hostel, ... and then made it to the spectacular city of Granada! A week long holiday in Granada was exactly what I needed and I loved it so much. Amazing tapas, gorgeous sunsets on the mountains, wonderful people and cheap (good) wine.
Later I traveled on to Scotland (with Ashley from home!), Crete (with two L'Arche friends) and then Belgium (L'Arche exchange) and several smaller trips around England as well. A change had taken place. I was traveling a bit to these beautiful places, but was discovering that growing inside me was the desire to just be home now. I never wanted to leave the house. I was so happy being surrounded by people I loved, that the need to travel and meet new people was now completely satisfied by my beautiful life in Manchester.
Later I traveled on to Scotland (with Ashley from home!), Crete (with two L'Arche friends) and then Belgium (L'Arche exchange) and several smaller trips around England as well. A change had taken place. I was traveling a bit to these beautiful places, but was discovering that growing inside me was the desire to just be home now. I never wanted to leave the house. I was so happy being surrounded by people I loved, that the need to travel and meet new people was now completely satisfied by my beautiful life in Manchester.
In hindsight I wouldn't call my experience last year a gap year. I'd call it a year where I discovered what it's like to live in a wonderful community; to be hugged everyday, to cook for ten people every night, what laughing till you cry feels like, what getting soaked in the rain feels like, how to be open to vulnerability, how to take care of people and so much more. It was just as educational as a year at any university. For me it was a year of learning and growing. It was my community life and I miss it so very much.
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